The Beginning

        I guess the only place for me to start is the beginning which would  be May of last year...... 

        May of 2011 was a rough time for me, I had just broke up with my boyfriend of two years because I felt our relationship wasn't going to go any further than it had and I always knew that I wanted to be a wife and a mother.I knew if I stayed with him that would never happened, its not that he didn't love me or I love him but if we got married and had children we would of been miserable together because that is not what he wanted.I am not the type of person to force my ideals on another person which is why I broke up with him...anyways I got on the computer one night and was looking up people from high school on facebook and I came across this one man that I went to high school, his name is Kenneth. I remembered him vividly I had such a crush on him in high school (we even dated a couple of weeks) so I thought what the hell and friend requested him.

      The next day Kenneth messaged me on facebook and we immediately hit it off. We had so much in common our love for country music, we liked fishing.camping, hiking and anything to do with the outdoors. Anyways after a couple of weeks of messaging we finally decided to meet up at my favorite hang out spot.I had every intention of going home that night or making him sleep on the couch, well it didn't quite work that way. We ended up spending the whole night talking.He finally kissed me.It was the best kiss I ever had, it was so sweet he actually asked to kiss me...After that night we started dating, our first official date was a concert called the DFB.And we were inseparable or so I thought....

     To say Kenny came without baggage would be a lie.Before he got together with me he was with a woman named Vicki and ended up fathering a child and right before he got together with me he was with another woman whose name I don't even like to mention because she caused so much drama in the beginning of relationship . Kenny and I were together for 3 weeks when his ex contacted him and said that she was pregnant.She blackmailed him into going back to him, by saying she would go to his ex and get his rights taken away as a father so he left me. That was a very dark time for me..although Kenny and I were only together for 3 weeks I had fallen for him hard.He was not like any other man I ever met...It took 3 more weeks for us to get back together because he found out that his ex had lied to him about being pregnant.The moment he was able to get free of her he called me so we could talk.

 I remember the phone call vividly...."Amber", he said...Not recognizing the voice right away I replied " who this?" He said." Kenny its can you get to Parish so we can talk" I said" yea I will be there". I got there as fast as I could,my plan was to tell him off but the moment I pulled into the driveway and saw Kenny all I wanted him to do was tell me everything would be okay and wrap his arms around me.He explained everything to me and I reluctantly took back.People thought I was crazy but I knew Kenny was the man I wanted...We got back together despite people telling me I was crazy. I knew what I could live with and what I could live without and I knew Kenny fell into the later category...Fast forward to September, Kenny and I found out we were pregnant and the crazy thing was we weren't even trying, it just kinda happened. After the initial shock wore off we were extremely happy.Then my happiness was shattered October 7th when I went into my doctors and he told me that my baby had no heart beat, I was devastated. My little tadpole was only 7 weeks and 3 days and I was suppose to be 8 weeks and 6 days..I felt so horrible like I could of done something more to keep my baby alive. I was catatonic for 5 days and a zombie for 3 weeks.By Thanksgiving I was feeling more like myself again and then Christmas Eve Kenny proposed and I said yes!!!

Which brings me to today we are going through a rough time. We are all for purposes homeless and jobless at the moment but his parents are helping us out. Plus I am 6 weeks and 4 days pregnant.Right now we are doing what we can to make ourselves better so we can have a good life for us and our baby.Its hard but we will get there.

I have so many thoughts that if I wrote them all down now it would be like 6 pages long so I am stopping for now...